Alas, the Eric Byrnes hair saga continues. He was supposed to be on KNBR in San Francisco co-hosting a show called "The Razor and Mr. T" from 3-7 today. Mr. T takes Mondays off. But then Eric cancelled, thinking he was cutting it too close with his flight. So he is expected to call in at 5:30. In the meantime time, Ralph Barbieri (the Razor) and substitute for the substitute Dave Fleming spent nearly 20 minutes ragging on Byrnesie’s hair, even taking phone calls. And they expect to ask him about it at 5:30. No, thanks, I’ll pass.
The World Series is tied at a game apiece, and there is a controversy over whether Kenny Rogers had pine tar on his hand in the first inning of yesterday’s game. Both Bay Area MLB teams are looking for new managers. The Oakland Raiders won yesterday. It may be the only game they win all season. The Monday Night Football Game–the Giants vs. the Cowboys–starts in just a few hours. Tiki Barber of the GIants is talking about retiring. Shawne Merriman of the San Diego Chargers has been hit with a 4-game steroids suspension. And here we have 20 minutes, with phone calls, on Eric Byrnes’ hair!
Where are your priorities, people? Is there not enough going on in the world of sports that you have to occupy yourselves with this trivia?
The only thing good about this discussion, if it had to be had at all, is the fact that it concerns a man’s looks. Women have had to put up with men, and other women, thinking that their looks are more important than their ideas or their job competence since time immemorial. Welcome to our side of the room, Byrnesie!
I don’t know what the deal is with what appeared to be too much hair gel on ESPN. I didn’t like it because it didn’t look like the real Eric, whose hair is dry and fluffy/curly and great that way. It may have been his rebellion against having to wear a suit and tie to talk sports. I may be wrong about that. But that is what the "rat’s nest" said to me.
He had the dry, fluffy, curly and uncombed look while interviewing Barry Zito about the late Cory Lidle on Best ****, and on the one Fox pregame and two Fox postgame shows I have seen. And it’s great, because it looks real. It looks like Eric Byrnes. I’ve seen pictures of Byrnesie with short hair. He looks generic that way. And he’s not generic, on the field or on TV.
The bottom line is that people are uncomfortable with someone who doesn’t look or act like the others around him. We’ve all been conditioned to this, but we should not give into it. While it may be cause for casual razzing on a sports talk radio show, discomfort with difference is also the basis of every "ism" and phobia in the world. Racism, sexism, ageism, homophobia, discriminations on the basis of religion or disability, etc. You look different. You don’t wear what we wear. Ergo you are not one of "us."
The issue, if there is one, should not be why Byrnes had too much gel in his hair, but why guys have to wear suits (and women, like Jeannie Zelasko, have to wear jewelry) to talk sports. But it’s not an issue I want to hear about for twenty minutes on a sports talk show.
Let’s talk sports, not fashion.
And this means you, those of you who are landing on this blog after Googling Eric Byrnes hair.
The Byrnes Media Circus (his name, not mine) continues during the World Series on Fox. According to the South Florida Sun Sentinel, "Fox has added former Marlins manager Joe Girardi and Arizona Diamondbacks outfielder Eric Byrnes to the pregame show for the World Series. Byrnes will provide on-site analysis from Detroit for Games 1, 2 and if necessary 6 and 7. Girardi will be in the National League city for Games 3, 4 and if necessary 5."
All the more reason to hope this World Series goes 7 games.
But please don’t pepper me with questions about what I think about Byrnesie’s hair, analysis or anything else, as my work schedule is going to force me to miss all of the pregame shows and even the games themselves unless there is a game on Friday, October 27. (I can follow the Gameday Screen intermittently at work and listen to ESPN radio on the way home). I am one of those folks for whom making a living gets in the way of living. And I don’t even make enough to afford a TiVO for times like this.
But the lucky ducks among you can enjoy the Series, and, of course, the BMC!
Kéllia "wishing Byrnesie were playing rather than analyzing the Series" Ramares
But no, we are not asking about the team you think will go all the way. DTLFL wants to know who you’d most prefer seeing in the TV broadcast booth for the Fall Classic. Whether any of these people are actually available is irrelevant. We’d just like to know your preference. Please Vote!
The poll on Byrnesie’s ESPN Hair Fashion Statement drew 54 votes, by far the most on any DTLFL poll. This lends credence to the idea that the sillier the choices, the more people will vote on something. Here are the results:
I just washed my hair and I can’t do a thing with it.
Rather than put my hair gel in checked baggage, I put it all on my head.
I toweled off out of the shower, put on my suit and forgot to do my hair:
I napped in the Green Room until 30 secs before air.
Just because I’m in a suit, doesn’t mean I’m tame.
One word: Roadkill!
Let’s Go Mets!
This recent Eric Byrnes quote was sent to me by one of my readers:
"I didn’t realize how many degenerates sit there at home and watch television and surf the Internet and look for ways to belittle people. People should not be concentrating on what I’m wearing and what my hair looks like. They should be concerned with my flow and the knowledge coming out of my mouth."
I have a poll on Byrnes’ ESPN hairstyle on the blog, and I will admit that I am having a little fun at the expense of my favorite player, just as I did last year when I attached captions to some photos of Byrnes taken for me by fellow bloggers Daryl and Cyn. (The photo album is still on the blog, right sidebar). It’s a way of getting more people to interact with the blog; my stats reports show that a lot of people visit, but few leave comments and most of the ones who do are other MLBloggers.
But the hair poll is not to belittle. I happen to like the fact that Byrnesie wears his hair long; I’ve seen pictures of him with short hair and he looks generic that way. And one thing that Eric Byrnes is NOT is generic.
And I have been impressed with his flow and knowledge in the interviews I’ve heard on radio or seen on Internet clips. (I actually miss most of his TV work because I don’t have cable). The degenerates are the folks who decided that the talking heads on ESPN should suit up like Wall Street stockbrokers.
Nonetheless, Byrnesie’s comment made me wonder about the things people will vote on. For example, if you check out the results of Diamondhacks’ Front Office Boner poll, you will see that the category getting the most votes was the plan to change the team colors. Other choices on that poll included more substantial decisions such as extending the manager’s contract and raising ticket prices.
My Byrnes hair poll has been up for 5 days and has already garnered 24 votes. My poll on whether Brandon Webb will win the Cy Young Award this year took several weeks to collect 33 votes.
My poll about trading Shawn Green to the NY Mets drew only 14 votes. And though it was not formatted on my sidebar as a poll, my post asking 10 baseball questions, mostly about the NL playoffs and the World Series, with three about the D’Backs, drew only one response, from Tiffany of Party Like It’s 1982. Her own "Would you rather" post inspired mine.
Meanwhile, over at my journalism site, Radio Internet Story Exchange, a poll I started on September 8, in my efforts to find a format for my public affairs work that people are willing to buy, has garnered only 3 votes to date. (One voting for "Pay Nothing – Information should be free"; the second voting for "Pay Nothing, I can get similar information for free elsewhere; and the third voting for "Donate sporadically; I can’t afford to subscribe"). My journalism site doesn’t get anywhere near the traffic that the Byrnesblog does; but if one R.I.S.E. visitor a day voted, the poll would have matched the Brandon Webb–Cy Young poll in number of votes by now.
And, of course, there are people who are more interested in voting for their favorite American Idol candidate or their favorite couple on "Dancing with the Stars" than they are about voting for government officials.
I am beginning to believe that the more frivolous the topic, the more willing people are to vote.
So please go ahead and keep on expressing your opinions on Byrnesie’s ESPN hair Fashion Statement until I can think of something else to poll. And if any of you actually know Byrnesie, please tell him I said that my stats reports for the Byrnesblog show that more and more people are arriving at the blog after having queried Google about him since he’s been on TV in the post season. A few have queried about such things as his hair, his girlfriend and marital status, and even his parents, but most have not. I will bet most have looked him up on the Internet not to belittle him, but because they have been impressed by his flow and the knowledge coming out of his mouth.
Kéllia "Visualize 150+ Starts for Byrnes in 2007" Ramares
One of our commentators wanted to know when Eric Byrnes was going to be on The Best **** Sports Show Period. She said that when she last watched BDSSP, they were talking about poker. Then she asked:
When did poker become a sport anyway?
We’ve asked this question ourselves.
And it gets even worse than that. About a month or so ago, one of our local gym’s TVs was playing a documentary about a "rock-paper-scissors" tournament.
In the age of 24/7 specialized cable channels, TV execs keep trying to come up with filler. So we think they have decided that anything drawing a casually-dressed, cheering crowd must be a sport.
Of course, that doesn’t explain why some people think chess should be in the Olympics.
Let’s Go Mets! (In a game where "Rook" has a different meaning).
You’ve given me something very good to reflect on in the offseason!
You achieved a prestigious mark in baseball–25/25 status–actually 26/25, and you set new personal bests in homers, stolen bases, total bases and RBI, leading the Diamondbacks in the first three categories. You also avoided doing something I had hoped you would avoid doing: you avoided striking out 90 times, coming in at 88. (You struck out 111 times in 2004, so this is a significant improvement!)
But that is all I am going to say about stats for now; after all, I need something to write about after the World Series. So I will put aside the number crunching in this entry, even though the law school graduate/hard news journalist/Virgo Rising with Capricorn Moon and Saturn square the Sun part of me is mentally chewing over the numbers like a cow chewing its cud.
What I want to say more than anything is thank you. And not just for the fine stats. Thank you for never giving up on yourself even when others did. Thank you for believing in yourself when others around you had doubts. That was the first step in achieving your goal of proving that the aberration was 2005 NOT 2004. And thank you for being the kind of player who will look for ways to make 2007 even better than 2006.
Early in the season, a pair of opposition announcers chuckled at the thought of you being on the team. One of them said, "Josh Byrnes [D’Backs GM] must have wanted someone named Byrnes on the field." He couldn’t imagine why anyone would want you after the season you had in 2005. But if one looks at just about everybody’s career, there’s always a season a player would love to forget. You had yours in 2005. I don’t care who wins the official award, you are my Comeback Player of the Year for 2006.
You have a nice raise coming to you. But more important than money (for someone like you who is doing quite nicely compared to working stiffs like me), is respect. And I really, really hope that your work this year finally gets you the respect you deserve from people who count in the baseball world hella more than I do.
I heard D’Backs announcer Thom Brennaman say of you, "If he’s on your team, how can you not love him?"
I don’t know.
Neither will I.
Enjoy your offseason! And again, THANK YOU!
Kéllia "A Byrnes Fan and Mighty Proud of It!" Ramares